Sex is the key to everything! Since 2011, I’ve been bringing you the best in sex education. Let’s keep it running!
All in Social Behavior
The reality is that their testosterone/culture driven propensity toward violence simply makes them look guilty. It makes them look like crazy, predatory “creepers” who are six seconds away from going all King Kong on anyone they think is cute.
“You know women; when they say no, they really mean yes.”
I’m sure you’ve heard this a few times in your life. I have, usually from the mouth of some guy on trial for violently raping someone. Sure, it’s a ridiculous argument and those who treat this as gospel should be thrown in jail just for being idiots. But the thought process, while utterly fucked up and reprehensible, does have a basis in reality.
Look, I know that just talked about how annoyed I was that Anderson Cooper had to come out of the closet as a gay man. But R&B singer, and my current celebrity crush, Frank Ocean’s coming out was something that absolutely needed to happen.
Michigan has just been letting the hits roll lately. On an unrelated note, I’m planning to move to a less… vagina hating state sometime in 2013. But if anything comes of this new anti-gay bill, I may not make it through 2012.
Michigan House of Representatives bill HB5711 is a bill that is currently working its way through the House. It seeks to restrict women’s access to safe, legal abortions.
Read the full bill text at the link below or keep reading for a short summary.
Courtesy | Walmart
While doing press in Moscow last week to promote “Men in Black 3,” actor Will Smith slapped a reporter from Ukrainian television channel 1+1. Smith got upset when the reporter tried to kiss him on the mouth.
As with anything a celebrity of Smith’s stature does, the story got thrown around the world. Most outlets reported it with shock that Mr. Nice Guy could snap like that, which is troubling. But the commenters on the various posts around the web went crazy claiming that Smith was a homophobe. Towerload has a great write up about the public’s reactions.
The crux of the homophobia cry was that Smith slapped the reporter. People wondered if that “violent” reaction happened because the reporter was male. They also questioned if this slip gave a glimpse into the darkest, angriest and most homophobic reaches of his soul. I, of course, find issue with this idea; Smith’s reaction was not violent, not a slip and not homophobic.
In last print edition of Let’s Talk About Sex, we talked about the benefits of cuddling. Overall the piece was well received. I got a few messages from people thanking me for considering the benefit non-sexual touching in a column that normally deals with topics of the raunchier variety.
Overall, I was pretty proud of the piece, and the issue as a whole. That was until I read the print version of the column, which featured this sentence, “Get your head out of the gutter, I’m talking about cuddling.” I know that one-hundred-ten percent of people ignored the statement but, being the neurotic masochist that I am when it comes to my work, I started freaking out.
Tuesday night, a new Facebook friend of mine posted a link to a website called “Is Rape Funny.” It’s a simple website which proclaims that it is “DEFINITELY NOT.” I immediately rolled my eyes.
For quite some time I have had major issues with the way that our culture has decided to deal with rape and rape survivors. Being in college and knowing several women, men, and transgendered persons whom have experienced a sexual assault of some sort, has allowed me a unique insight into the issue from many different angles. From all of that experience, as well as my work in the field of sexual education, I have concluded that no, rape is not funny. But who cares, let’s laugh about it any way.
Rape is an unfortunate part of our culture. It has been for a very long time and if I was a betting man, I’d wager that it will be for many years to come. Thus far we have dealt with rape in a fashion that I consider to be appalling.
A question is a simple device used to extract information from someone else. What’s the weather going to be like on Tuesday? Most of the time, when asking a question the asker wants to gain the knowledge that the question pertains to. Would you like fries with that? But, there are other times where the actual response is judged and given weight based upon varying criteria. Are you having a boy or girl?
It may seem like a simple question, “boy or girl,” and it is. But, when the future of your child’s life in relation to everyone around them is determined by the answer, it’s no longer just a question. Keep in mind the question was not male or female; nor was the question penis or vagina. Those questions would lead you to a benign medical or scientific answer that would determine the biological sex of the child. As stated in the “Gender vs. Sex” lecture notes, the term sex, only refers “to inborn biological characteristics related to reproduction, such as sex chromosomes or sex organs” (Nugent, 2011).
The question is boy or girl, which is a different question entirely. That question is seeking to determine the gender of your child. Gender is infinitely more complex than sex as it, “refers to psychological characteristics and social categories that human culture creates” (Nugent, 2011).
Whether we like it or not, we answer the question with a smile send our children coasting down a preselected path of societally acceptable behaviors that follow them until they are nothing more than a faint memory in the minds of their loved ones. Basow (2008) states, “When a child is born it is immediately labeled a ‘boy’ or a ‘girl’ based on its genitalia a label that will define the expectations and responses of others throughout its life.”
People ask me why we need to talk about sex, and I try to answer them. But, no answer I could ever give would be as effective as a face to face confrontation with the fear, uncertainty, doubt, guilt, and shame that we all hold within us. So, I guess the best answer I could ever give is to say that we must talk about sex because we must.
