Female condoms are fucking awesome!
With my new boy toy, I’ve been trying all sorts of new things sexually. Of all the new experiences I’ve had, fucking his butt was definitely the most fun.
With new experiences come new challenges. In this case, the challenge was getting my dick to stay hard with a condom on it.
On a very deep level, I’m ashamed to admit that I’m a guy who apparently just can’t stay erect when sheathed. Of course, I didn’t know this until I tried and tried and tried and failed and failed and failed to stay erect with my dick in a condom. At first I thought I was simply having performance anxiety – I was – but the lack of sensation definitely was a major problem, too.
Since I wasn’t quite comfortable with the idea of forgoing a condom until we’d had a few tests and conversations, I wasn’t sure what to do. Luckily, I’d just gotten a few female (internal) condoms in a non-latex sampler pack from Lucky Bloke.* While I wasn’t super enthusiastic about ye old trashcan liner, I definitely should have been.
Like most people, I tend to forget that female condoms exist. There’s just something about them that – even as a kid – seemed odd. Regardless, in that moment of drunken horniness I was utterly ecstatic to have the option. Even though I’d always thought of female condoms as weird and unsexy, I happily found that they can be a fuck-ton of fun.
While fun, I will openly admit that putting a female condom into an anus is a little awkward. There’s a firm-ish ring that’s supposed to help you guide it into place, but I found it was just soft enough to annoy the hell out of me. Eventually, I was able to get it in and business picked up.
My biggest issue with male (external) condoms is the lack of sensitivity. I’ve been on the receiving end of cock for most of my sex life. As such, getting used to condoms on my penis was something that just never came up. Unfortunately, it was bringing me down in a major way. With the female condom, the sensation was totally different (read: existent).
The feeling of slipping into my boy with the female condom inserted surprised the shit out of me. The only thing I can compare it to is that intense warm feeling you get while washing dishes in hot water while wearing rubber gloves. It’s like warm apple pie. It’s incredible.
Of course, it doesn’t exactly feel like intercourse without a condom, but it still feels fucking great. The large size of the female condom lets it lie against the orifice rather than the penis. It’s a much more natural feeling than the claustrophobic male condoms I’ve used.
While it didn’t immediately cure my anxiety, it did make the situation less stressful. A lot of my anxiety piled up in the time after putting on the condom but before slipping in. With the female condom, it can be inserted and left there until I’m riled all the way up. Guys need foreplay, too.
The only real downside to female condoms is their price. While male condoms tend to cost about $1 a piece, female condoms cost $1.20 - $1.90. For people like me who make the bulk of their living at a dead-end, low-wage, part-time job, that price is prohibitive. My boy and me fuck around maybe six times a week. If we kept that up for a month, we would be spending about $38 a month. It’s more than my T-Mobile bill. If anyone knows of a place to make bulk orders or find them cheaper, let me know: jerome@ltasex.info.
Female condoms get a bad rap. People complain they’re awkward, unsightly and unsexy. I used to buy into the bad PR, but after some quality first-dick experience I can definitely say female (internal) condoms are pretty fucking great. Besides the extra cost, they’re my most favorite new thing since blow jobs.
* While I mention Lucky Bloke because they sent me the condoms free of charge, I do think they’re a pretty dope company with a much better presentation than a lot of their competitors. Check them out.
