For most of my partnered sex, I’ve been plagued by a problem: a sudden rush of panic when other people initiate. For a long time, I hadn’t known what it was. Over time, though, it’s become clear that I’m suffering from pre-sex anxiety.

From my years of helping people have better sex, I know that many others suffer from the same problem. So, I wanted to offer up a few of the symptoms I’ve noticed to help you figure out if you’re dealing with the same problem.