Apr 9

Apr 9 Is it too soon to date again? (Sexpert Wisdom)

I recently got out of 2 year relationship. I wasn’t planning on dating anyone, but there’s this guy I can’t keep my eyes of. He works with me in the Student Center and I think he’s super cute and funny. I’d been really good and avoided dwelling on my feeling and attraction towards him, but the other day I heard him talking about me to another one of our co-workers. He was asking whether or not it was too soon to ask me out, because of my break up. It’s been a week since then and he hasn’t so I assume he decided it was too soon.
Do you think it’s too soon? Should I ask him out or should I wait? Is there some standard time a person should wait post breakup to start seeing a new guy?
F/22/Junior/Hetero

You didn’t tell me how long it’s been, so I can’t exactly judge whether or not it’s too soon. I tried replying to you, but you never responded. I’m going to assume we’re talking about a matter of a month or so; it’s very common for people to breakup in the first week of December.

If this were the case, I would think that it might be too soon. Generally, I tell people that they should wait about two months, just to give themselves time to breathe after a long relationship. But, after reading your message several times, I think you might be more ready than you know.

In your email you didn’t even mention your ex or any feelings you still had for him, which says to me that there may not be any. If this is the case and you feel like you’re ready to get back on the horse, then go for it. There is no rulebook that can tell you how to live better than you own gut instincts.

With that, I need to tell you that I think it’s bad idea to think about getting into another long-term relationship this co-worker. I would encourage you to play it easy and just hang out and build some intimacy rather than be concerned with making him your one and only. Even if you do end up there, there’s no reason to rush into a relationship.

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