Dumb Domme: Why I Fucking Love Rope Bondage
I became interested in BDSM when I met my boyfriend two-and-a-half years ago. He identified as submissive and it didn't take long for me to assume the dominant role in our relationship. While we fell into a D/s (dom/sub) dynamic naturally, the technical skills – the practices and techniques that make kinky sex kinky – have not come so easily.
I enjoy kinky sex, but I'm not always good at it. My ineptitude is equal parts inexperience and clumsiness; I often suffer more S&M related bumps and bruises than my masochistic partner... and I'm the sadist. The irony is not lost on me.
I'm lucky to have a patient submissive – he is far more patient with me than I am. I want to be good at everything (right now!) and I'm insecure about where I fall short. For that reason, sometimes I focus too much on the toys, tools, and techniques involved in certain kinds of kinky sex.
Am I holding this flogger correctly?
How many different sized butt plugs do I really need?
Exactly how many anal beads is too many?
Does this strap-on cock make my thighs look fat?
I often get so preoccupied with 'doing it right' (whatever “it” is... attire, grooming, sensory deprivation, impact play, etc.) that I forget to enjoy myself. I over-analyze my technique and performance to such a degree that I miss out on everything else – the physical sensations, the emotions and the intimacy – all those lovely things that make playing fun and sex worth having.
But there's one thing that always gets me out of my head… rope. I swear the stuff is magic.
With rope in my hands, I get out of my head long enough to enjoy the physical, mental, and emotional elements that make for intimate, mind-blowing and truly satisfying sex. That's why rope is the kink nearest and dearest to my heart.
Of course rope and bondage go hand-in-hand but rope bondage is so much more than just plain old bondage. All by itself, bondage is simply the practice of restraining a partner. Restraint can be quickly and easily accomplished with a good set of wrist and ankle cuffs, some nylon webbing, and a couple of carabiners.
Using rope isn't nearly as quick or easy, but it's worth the time and effort because it's so much more intimate and special. Rope bondage is as much about the process (the intimate practice of tying up a lover) as it is about the product (in my case, a beautiful bound man to use for my sexual pleasure).
Knots aren't rocket science, but they do take time to learn and practice to master. Fortunately, that time and practice can be a precursor to sex – taking the time to learn with your partner and on your partner means you're spending time together and touching each other all over without rushing right into groping your partner's junk. It's foreplay; it heightens anticipation for the big event and adds some drama to what might otherwise be boring, rushed, vanilla sex.
While my submissive is the one being tied (the 'rope bottom'), I kink on rope specifically because of what it does to me when I'm tying (as the 'rope top'). Tying my lover helps me clear my head of my self-consciousness and helps me appreciate the moment. It makes me pay more attention to him – to his body and the way it moves, his physical and emotional responses and his level of comfort or discomfort. I notice the expression in his eyes, the sounds he makes and the way his breathing speeds or slows in response to my touch. When I take notice of all those things, I realize how much I enjoy them... and how much they turn me on.
Besides clearing my head and getting me all hot and bothered, I appreciate the way that tying him is an exercise of our trust in each other, particularly when I tie him in stressful positions with elaborate ties and complicated knots. He has to trust me with his physical and emotional safety and I have to trust that he'll communicate with me if something isn't right. For that reason, rope bondage makes us focus on each other instead of focusing on the act. Ultimately, it means we're more present in the moment and more in tune with each other.
Of course, the best thing about rope bondage is the end result. Seeing a lover's body crisscrossed with rope is so-fucking-hot. In my mind, there is nothing more beautiful than a man unburdened of his strength, rendered helpless, bent and bound according to my wishes. Nothing is hotter than a man who is eager to give me control, and nothing turns me on quite like taking it.
Dumb Domme writes about her (mis)adventures in kinky sex, relationships, and in life on her blog, DumbDomme.com. Follow her on Twitter at @DumbDomme or send her an email.
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Growing up an only child, I always wanted a Clifford the Big Red Dog-sized canine companion. Sadly, despite my best efforts, I entered into adulthood having unsuccessfully petitioned my mother for such a beast. At 26, however, I became the owner of a 5-foot-10-inch, 240-pound human pup by the name of Bubby.
Although I’ve always considered myself to be closer to vanilla on the kink spectrum, I’ve recently found myself being one kinky motherfucker. It started with a little roughness and led into a sadistic awakening. Now, a little puppy play has led into a budding full-time D/s relationship, and I am super excited.
Bottom line: While Fifty Shades of Grey Hard Limits Bed Restraint Kit isn’t a Christian Grey-type luxury item, it is wholly capable for almost every beginner restraint’s needs. With its high-quality, just-right pricing and simple, everyday kink styling, it should be right at home in your starter playroom.
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This phrase has become a bit of a joke within the kink community, based on individuals making this (grammatically incorrect) statement on kinky social networking sites. The profile where you will find this short, defiant statement will likely also be filled with other “twue” and inflexible declarations about what an awesome Dominate they are.
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Initially, I was taken aback by the question, “what does it mean to be a good submissive?” It is a very subjective question and you will get a million different answers from Dominants and submissives alike. So, let me preface this article by saying there is no one way to be a “good” submissive. However, there are steps one can take to ensure the growth and quality of your identity and relationships.
I recently did a Google Hangout interview with the fat femme lesbians of Lesbian Curves: Courtney Trouble, Kitty Stryker, Betty Blac and Cinnamon Maxine. Despite some major sleepiness on my part – we didn’t start recording until 1:36am ET – we had a good fucking time.
In this exclusive interview got to talk about Lesbian Curves 2: Hard Femme, mommy fetishes and Courtney Trouble’s love for April Flores. Betty Blac and Kit
ty Stryker got to discuss what it was like shooting with each other and the differences between Lesbian Curves and Lesbian Curves 2. We also got some juicy inside details on the already-in-production Lesbian Curves 3 from Courtney and Cinnamon soon after shooting the first scene, which stars Cinnamon Maxine and porn legend Syd Blakovich.
Of course, the best thing about rope bondage is the end result. Seeing a lover's body crisscrossed with rope is so-fucking-hot. In my mind, there is nothing more beautiful than a man unburdened of his strength, rendered helpless, bent and bound according to my wishes. Nothing is hotter than a man who is eager to give me control, and nothing turns me on quite like taking it.
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Normally, when you’re exploring things, you go outside yourself but, in this case, you need to look inside. The one thing you need to know about kinks is that they're all in your head. That means, in order to find them, you've got to get all inception in this bitch.
Whether you’re a dom who’s force feminizing your pretty little sub bitch or a guy who just likes to feel soft and feminine, you know how hard it is to find lingerie that fits a guy’s body. Well, I just stumbled across a store that fixes that problem. HommeMystere is an online store that specializes in men’s hosiery and lingerie for the pretty girl in every man.
The 4th of July is a time to celebrate independence and freedom. What better way to do that than to watch three women shoot fireworks out of their pretty pink assholes? In case you’re wondering: yes, fireworks fetish is a real thing. Some people find the pyrotechnics and loud booms to be just the thing to get their pussies wet.
You love your men tied up in bondage rope, gagged and vulnerable to your every whim? Yeah, so do we. There’s something incredibly sexy about watching your pitiful male sub writhe around helplessly while bound in intricate ropes and knots. The way the ropes keep him so still and vulnerable is enough to warrant a spanking. So, today, we’ve got a collection of pics and gifs of male submissives tied up and ready for their master's use. Enjoy.
You love your women tied up in bondage rope, gagged and vulnerable to your every whim? Yeah, so do we. There’s something incredibly sexy about watching your sexy sub writhe around helplessly while bound in intricate ropes and knots. So, today, we’ve got a collection of pics and gifs of hot chicks tied up and ready for you. Enjoy.
Welcome to Kink Month on LTASEX. This month, we’re going to be taking some time to appreciate and accentuate all those wonderful kinks and fetishes that make sex so much fun. We’ll be talking about kink, fetish, feet, legs, body hair, stockings, heels, ropes, chains and more body fluids than you can probably think of. We’ll also have some awesome guest posts and interviews from and with kinksters from all-over the sex bloggosphere. It's going to be sexy, slutty and fun, as always. ;)
