All in Technology & Sexuality

How to save your gadgets from bodily fluids

When done well, masturbation can get messy. Sure, there’s towels and wet wipes to clean off your belly and a washing machine for your sheets. But what do you do when there’s a bit of friendly fire on your nearby laptop, tablet or smartphone that helped you reach your toe-curling orgasm? For those delicate and expensive gadgets, you’ll have to use a more delicate touch.

The way we live today does not allow serendipity to work as well as it used to. People are always on the move, hopping from country to country and farther away from a centralized social life. When you’re living in a city of +100,000 the likelihood that you’re going to bump into your soul mate is very low. To solve this problem we have created online dating.

With online dating, from the comfort of your home, you can find the people who are out there looking for someone like you. It is the most convenient way to satisfy one of life’s most basic drives. Unfortunately, it is also happens to be the most convenient way to ensure you never get a date with anyone except Madame Palm and her 5 daughters.

Now that every iPhone/Android/Palm/Blakberry is rocking a 3+ megapixel camera, and almost every smartphone on the planet is shooting in at least 720p, it makes sense that “sexting” (I hate that word) has taken off. I know I for one am inundated with all types of crazy requests; just 20 minutes ago, I got texted, “Send me a picture of your giant ass covered in baby oil”. . .  I declined. This may seem like an odd request, but to me it’s par for the course. I’m sure there are quite a few of you who have been in similar situations at some point. So today we are going to step your digital sex game up a few notches with some tips and tricks.

 

I love when people send me nude pictures, it’s one of the highlights of my days, but I absolutely hate when they look like this.

 

Sure, this chick is hot and if she sent me pictures, or video or her phone number I wouldn’t mind, but the grainy bathroom cell phone camera MySpace pic should have died off, along with Tom, years ago. Also, people, understand that duck lips are not as cute as you think they are. You look like someone just dropped a deuce that no one is acknowledging.